Final Writing Assignment Final Draft

Grace Silva

English 123 C

Final Exam Day Writing Assignment-Spring 2017

 

When I got to UNE I quickly realized that writing and revising a paper was nothing like writing and revising a paper in high school.  In high school, I think that my idea of revising a paper was similar to what Nancy Sommers explains in this article.  In high school when I would revise my papers I would mostly focus on my vocabulary and grammatical mistakes.  Now however, I focus on the content and structure of my paragraphs along with improving my vocabulary and grammar.

The way Nancy Sommers describes a student revising a paper is “a rewording activity”.  I agree with Sommers because that’s how I USED to look at revision.  I think if I had not met with Megan Grumbling and Professor Frank, then I believe that I would still look at revision as “a rewording activity”.  When Sommers says that students look at revising as “a rewording activity” I think that she’s talking about just focusing on vocabulary.  Although that’s not a bad thing, but the writer should focus on other aspects of their paper as well.  When revising my work now, not only do i make sure that my vocabulary and grammar are up to par but I also make sure that the content connects with my ideas and supports them in a way that I like.  I believe that adding quotes to my papers really helps with supporting my claim.  I also think that breaking my paragraphs up helps both myself and the reader understand the ideas better.    

In the very beginning of my first semester, I thought that a five paragraph essay would suffice.  As a matter of fact I did not really think that I would every write a paper that was not in five paragraph essay form.  Safe to say I was shocked when I was told that we would not be writing in five paragraph form anymore.  I quickly learned in the revision process that I could make my paper stronger if I were to break up my paragraphs in different ways.  This opened my eyes and made me start thinking about how I could make my papers even better through the revision process.  I like how Sommers incorporates another writer’s quote because I feel like it is very relatable to student writers.  She quotes “I have learned from experience that I need to keep writing a first draft until i figure out what I want to say.  Then in a second draft, I begin to see the structure of an argument and how all the various sub-arguments which are buried beneath the surface of all those sentences are related.”  I can relate to this because when I am writing drafts, I find myself just writing the bare minimum for the first draft then once I get to the second draft, that’s where I start connecting my ideas and adding quotes to support my claim.  English 122 and English 123 really helped me improve my writing skills in all classes.  I think one thing that really stuck with me was Barclays Formula.  I like how I can kind of use it as a template.  It gives me something to follow and I believe the end product from it is really helpful when I am trying to support my claim with ideas from other writers.  

In some ways I do relate to Sommers idea of revising papers however I do believe that there is more to it then just changing your vocab and grammar.  Thats a good start I believe but I think with adding more details and evidence then your paper will become even stronger as well as you as a writer.  Sommers says towards the end of her article that in the the revision process “Details are added, dropped, substituted, or recorded according to their sense of what the essay needs for emphasis and proportion.”  I agree with that because that is one of the processes of revision that I use myself.  Although writing the paper is important, I believe that during the revision process is where you as a writer grows and will better understand how to improve as a writer.    

Kara Poe Alexander Project

Kara Poe Alexander wants to get the idea of a “Literacy Success Story” across the mind.  I think that we all have a literacy success story and Kara Poe Alexander connects many peoples success stories with one another.  In her paper Alexander talks about the Meta Narrative which is kind of a broad idea and story line behind everyones Literacy success story.  She also talks about the little narratives within the literacy success stories.  These are the more personalized and I think more interesting parts of the narratives.  A little narrative is more personal and helps the literacy success story has some uniqueness.  They’re things like what your child upbringing was like or that one English teacher that talked to you after class and helped you graduate.  With out little narratives I do not think that there would be many Literacy success stories cause like I said they really make the story.

Rough Draft for Literacy and Social Goods

Many people say that literacy brings social goods and success to both the apprentice and the sponsor. I believe this to be true and both Brandt and Gee can support this.  However this can be argued depending on some people’s definition of success and social goods.  Social goods according to Gee is acquisition of money, power, and social status.  He says that you receive social goods once you become literate in a Discourse.  Brandt says that sponsors already have social goods and that they don’t just invest in an “apprentice” if they do not see promise.  Even though sponsors already have social goods, they still have things to acquire like marketing and advertising.  Although the outcome may not be the same for all sponsors, they still are very likely to get something out of it.  

Success can be a broad term but I think that success is determined by the person themselves.  Everybody has their own connotation of success whether people agree with it or not is uncontrollable.  Gee says that once one is fully fluent in a Discourse then the social group that they are now a part of will give them social goods.  Gee states that “Social groups will not, usually, give their social goods…to those who are not ‘natives’ or ‘fluent users’” (10).  I agree with Gee because if you think of it, if you are not part of a social group or Discourse, then you will not get the benefits of that Discourse or social group.  The only way that you as a person outside of the social group or Discourse, is to be acquire literacy in the Discourse.  This will allow a person to be successful in gaining the social goods. Theres the argument that if someone misses an apprenticeship, which is the only way to become literate and fluent in a Discourse, then they will never be able to acquire the social goods of the social group.  Also the argument still of what is considered as “success”.  Like I had said, success has many different definitions.  However, I believe that the only success that matters is the successfulness of yourself.  So this means that you can only judge if you are successful or not.  If you have literacy acquisition in something that you believe in then you can consider yourself successful in that Discourse or social situation even though others may not.  Success in some situations though can be observed by others.  As Brandt says, if the person being sponsored by a sponsor is successful, then the sponsor will also experience success as well.  This also goes for an apprentice and master.  If the apprentice is successful then the master will also be successful by gaining another fluent person in that specific Discourse.  In the narrative “Eyes Wide Open” by Erica B she talks about how Mr. L caught her interest in learning in the fourth grade.  She wonders what it would be like if she had a different teacher for fourth grade.  While Erica thought she was successful because she enjoyed her teacher and his ways of getting his points across does not mean that another fourth grader who had Mr. L as their teacher felt the same way.  They could have been less successful than Erica or not successful at all.  This is an example of how success depends on the learner’s interpretation rather than sticking to the webster dictionary definition.  Erica’s definition of success may be that something that she had trouble understanding was now clear but her classmates definition of success could be getting an A+ on their next test.  This goes for everyone.  I have my own definition of success when it comes to math.  I think I am successful when I pass a homework assignment that I did all by myself.  Many others think that is something that everyone should do but being a struggling math student that is what I consider success.  

There is a very generalized definition of success that many people think of when success is mentioned.  People think of having money, having stability, having a high social status as successful and while that could be success for one person, that does not mean that those social goods are the only things that could mean success.  Gee’s definition of success is entering a dominant secondary Discourse with full fluency.  Although that may be the main goal in the end, that does not mean that someone could be successful when making it into the apprenticeship.  I believe that while on the road to entering a dominant secondary Discourse, you can have many little successes along the way.  Brandt’s idea of success applies to both the apprentice and the sponsor.  While success usually is for the person learning, a sponsor is considered successful if the learner is successful.  In a way I think that Brandt’s idea of success could lead to bias success because sponsors tend to sponsor people that only they see promise in.  I definitely think that this is true however because I think you have to be at least a little bit successful in order to get noticed and sponsored by a sponsor.    

In the literacy narrative “A Nervous Little Reader” by Emily MacDonald, Mrs. McNeil could be considered a sponsor and Emily is considered the learner.  Mrs. McNeil had seen that Emily was struggling and saw something special in her which led her to offer extra help.  While money or social goods wasn’t really a product of success for Mrs. McNeil, satisfaction and gratification were.  Emily and her family recognize this sponsor as the women who helped Emil learn to read and that in itself can be considered very successful.  Emily herself had become more comfortable while reading and talking to people which shows that she made progress and was successful in overcoming her anxiety.  

The acquisition of literacy is very important in becoming successful.  I believe that in order to have the slightest bit of success one needs to acquire literacy.  However, most people believe that this needs to be a drastic change but I believe that it can be a very small step forward. Gee says that when entering a dominant secondary Discourse, you become successful.  That is true.  That does not mean that throughout your apprenticeship, you cannot gain small successes.   

 

What is a general definition of success?

What is an individual’s definition of success?

How do Brandt and Gee explain success? How do I respond to that?

Revisions and New Paragraph for Literacy and Social Goods

Revision #1

Success can be a broad term but I think that success is determined by the person themselves.  Everybody has their own connotation of success whether people agree with it or not is uncontrollable.  Gee says that once one is fully fluent in a Discourse then the social group that they are now a part of will give them social goods.  Gee states that “Social groups will not, usually, give their social goods…to those who are not ‘natives’ or ‘fluent users’” (10).  I agree with Gee because if you think of it, if you are not part of a social group or Discourse, then you will not get the benefits of that Discourse or social group.  The only way that you as a person outside of the social group or Discourse, is to acquire literacy in the Discourse.  This will allow a person to be successful in gaining the social goods. Theres the argument that if someone misses an apprenticeship, which is the only way to become literate and fluent in a Discourse, then they will never be able to acquire the social goods of the social group.  Also the argument still of what is considered as “success”.

Revision #2

 Like I had said, success has many different definitions.  However, I believe that the only success that matters is the successfulness of yourself.  So this means that you can only judge if you are successful or not.  If you have literacy acquisition in something that you believe in then you can consider yourself successful in that Discourse or social situation even though others may not.  Success in some situations though can be observed by others.  As Brandt says, if the person being sponsored by a sponsor is successful, then the sponsor will also experience success as well.  This also goes for an apprentice and master.  If the apprentice is successful then the master will also be successful by gaining another fluent person in that specific Discourse.

New Paragraph 

 In the narrative “Eyes Wide Open” by Erica B she talks about how Mr. L caught her interest in learning in the fourth grade.  She wonders what it would be like if she had a different teacher for fourth grade.  While Erica thought she was successful because she enjoyed her teacher and his ways of getting his points across does not mean that another fourth grader who had Mr. L as their teacher felt the same way.  Erica says “My teacher showed me more interactive ways of learning.” (B, Erica).  This is a good example of Erica’s preference in learning.  However, not everyone learns best from interactive ways.  Some people may find more success in learning when they are just given a textbook to read out of.  Success in learning is more specific to the person doing the learning and should not be generalized.  They could have been less successful than Erica or not successful at all.  This is an example of how success depends on the learner’s interpretation rather than sticking to the webster dictionary definition.  Erica’s definition of success may be that something that she had trouble understanding was now clear but her classmates definition of success could be getting an A+ on their next test.  This goes for everyone.  I have my own definition of success when it comes to math.  I think I am successful when I pass a homework assignment that I did all by myself.  Many others think that is something that everyone should do but being a struggling math student that is what I consider success.  

 

Revision Plan for Literacy and Social Goods

“Expand more on this idea of small successes.”

Ty Berg wrote this comment on my last paragraph and I like this because even though I did not fully explain what “small successes” were at first I think that they are very important to my paper.  A small success can be considered plenty of things.  You can basically come up with anything that allows you to grow in anyway and consider it a success.  I do not like to set a definition for success like some people might like to because we are all different.  I think I can give personal examples to help people realize what their own successes are but I cant tell them what makes them successful because what I may consider successful for myself you may not consider success for yourself.  For me a small success would be getting an A on a math exam or waking up early and going on a run however that might be the norm for you.  Or it may not be but thats up for you to determine no one else.

Final Draft of Literacy and Social Goods

Grace Silva

English 123

Literacy and Social Goods 

Many people say that literacy brings social goods and success to both the apprentice and the sponsor. I believe this to be true and both Brandt and Gee can support this.  However this can be argued depending on some people’s definition of success and social goods.  Social goods according to Gee is acquisition of money, power, and social status.  He says that you receive social goods once you become literate in a Discourse.  Brandt says that sponsors already have social goods and that they don’t just invest in an “apprentice” if they do not see promise.  Even though sponsors already have social goods, they still have things to acquire like marketing and advertising.  Although the outcome may not be the same for all sponsors, they still are very likely to get something out of it.  

Success can be a broad term but I think that success is determined by the person themselves.  Everybody has their own connotation of success whether people agree with it or not is uncontrollable.  Gee says that once one is fully fluent in a Discourse then the social group that they are now a part of will give them social goods.  Gee states that “Social groups will not, usually, give their social goods…to those who are not ‘natives’ or ‘fluent users’” (10).  I agree with Gee because if you think of it, if you are not part of a social group or Discourse, then you will not get the benefits of that Discourse or social group.  The only way that you as a person outside of the social group or Discourse, is to acquire literacy in the Discourse.  This will allow a person to be successful in gaining the social goods. Theres the argument that if someone misses an apprenticeship, which is the only way to become literate and fluent in a Discourse, then they will never be able to acquire the social goods of the social group.  Also the argument still of what is considered as “success”.  Like I had said, success has many different definitions.  However, I believe that the only success that matters is the successfulness of yourself.  So this means that you can only judge if you are successful or not.  If you have literacy acquisition in something that you believe in then you can consider yourself successful in that Discourse or social situation even though others may not.  Success in some situations though can be observed by others.  As Brandt says, if the person being sponsored by a sponsor is successful, then the sponsor will also experience success as well.  This also goes for an apprentice and master.  If the apprentice is successful then the master will also be successful by gaining another fluent person in that specific Discourse.  In the narrative “Eyes Wide Open” by Erica B she talks about how Mr. L caught her interest in learning in the fourth grade.  She wonders what it would be like if she had a different teacher for fourth grade.  While Erica thought she was successful because she enjoyed her teacher and his ways of getting his points across does not mean that another fourth grader who had Mr. L as their teacher felt the same way.  Erica says “My teacher showed me more interactive ways of learning.” (B, Erica).  This is a good example of Erica’s preference in learning.  However, not everyone learns best from interactive ways.  Some people may find more success in learning when they are just given a textbook to read out of.  Success in learning is more specific to the person doing the learning and should not be generalized.  They could have been less successful than Erica or not successful at all.  This is an example of how success depends on the learner’s interpretation rather than sticking to the webster dictionary definition.  Erica’s definition of success may be that something that she had trouble understanding was now clear but her classmates definition of success could be getting an A+ on their next test.  This goes for everyone.  I have my own definition of success when it comes to math.  I think I am successful when I pass a homework assignment that I did all by myself.  Many others think that is something that everyone should do but being a struggling math student that is what I consider success.  

There is a very generalized definition of success that many people think of when success is mentioned.  People think of having money, having stability, having a high social status as successful and while that could be success for one person, that does not mean that those social goods are the only things that could mean success.  Gee’s definition of success is entering a dominant secondary Discourse with full fluency.  Although that may be the main goal in the end, that does not mean that someone could be successful when making it into the apprenticeship.  I believe that while on the road to entering a dominant secondary Discourse, you can have many little successes along the way.  Brandt’s idea of success applies to both the apprentice and the sponsor. “Sponsors, as we ordinarily think of them, are powerful figures who bankroll events or smooth way for initiates” (557).  This is how Brandt describes sponsors and how they have a role in making learning easier for the apprentice.  While success usually is for the person learning, a sponsor is considered successful if the learner is successful.  In a way I think that Brandt’s idea of success could lead to bias success because sponsors tend to sponsor people that only they see promise in.  I definitely think that this is true however because I think you have to be at least a little bit successful in order to get noticed and sponsored by a sponsor.    

In the literacy narrative “A Nervous Little Reader” by Emily MacDonald, Mrs. McNeil could be considered a sponsor and Emily is considered the learner.  Mrs. McNeil had seen that Emily was struggling and saw something special in her which led her to offer extra help.  While money or social goods wasn’t really a product of success for Mrs. McNeil, satisfaction and gratification were.  Emily and her family recognize this sponsor as the women who helped Emily learn to read and that in itself can be considered very successful.  Emily herself had become more comfortable while reading and talking to people which shows that she made progress and was successful in overcoming her anxiety.  In her narrative, Emily credits Mrs. McNeil with helping her recognize her own anxiety.  Emily says “If she had not mentioned this my anxiety would be just as bad now as it was then” (MacDonald).  Later in the narrative, Mrs. McNeil makes yet another appearance when Emily credits her for teaching her how to read.  “…or if i had never sat down with Mrs. McNeil to learn how to read I do not know where my reading skills would be today.” (MacDonald).  Here she gives Mrs. McNeil who is her sponsor credit for teaching her how to read.  Although it may not be your most desired social good, accreditation still is a way of a sponsor receiving a good from their successful student.     

The acquisition of literacy is very important in becoming successful.  I believe that in order to have the slightest bit of success one needs to acquire literacy.  However, most people believe that this needs to be a drastic change but I believe that it can be a very small step forward. Gee says that when entering a dominant secondary Discourse, you become successful.  That is true.  That does not mean that throughout your apprenticeship, you cannot gain small successes like making it into the apprenticeship itself.

 

Works Cited

B, Erica. “Eyes Wide Open.” Rising Cairn. University of New England, December 1,2016. Medium. 6 March 2017.

 

Brandt, Deborah. “Sponsors of Literacy.” Literacy A Critical Sourcebook. Edited by Ellen Cushman. Bedfords/St.Martin’s, 2001, Boston, New York. (555-571)

 

Gee, James Paul. Literacy, Discourse, and Linguistics: Introduction. Journal of Education. Volume 171, Number 1, 1989. (5-25)

 

MacDonald, Emily. “A Nervous Little Reader.” Rising Cairn. University of New England. December 6, 2016. Medium. 6 March 2017.

       

Education and WCHP or CAS

The curriculum of both The College of Arts and Sciences and Westbrook College of Health Professions tell me that an educated person should be well rounded.  I think a lot of people believe that an educated person needs to know everything in the world in order to be considered educated or smart but a lot of being a educated person has to do with your skills in the real world and how to apply your education to whatever job you get.  A person who is a math wiz and only practices math sure may be well educated but in my opinion will not get as far in life as a person who is good at math but is also good at english and has social skills.  I think an educated person really thrives at apply it to the real world and around other people.

What characterizes a UNE graduate?

A UNE graduate who is graduating from the College of Arts and Sciences should have environmental awareness, civic engagement, and social/ global awareness.  Students should be able to display these skills when also putting whatever else they learned along the way to test in the real world.  I think environmental awareness is explicit because it can really only be interpreted as one thing.  The name really says it all.  Both social and global awareness and civic engagement are more broad as in you can apply them to different situations and display them in different ways.

Ungar The New Liberal Arts questions

1.) When I read that Sanford J Ungar called these misperceptions I assume that that they are wrong.  I assume that that is how I am also suppose to feel about the topic is the same way the Ungar feels.  If he were to call them common assumptions then I would probably not think anything wrong of them.  I would think that maybe there is more to it but not that it is not what it seems.

2.) I agree with Garin to an extent.  Some jobs I do believe that you can not fufill with just a liberal arts education.  But I do believe that with a liberal arts education it gives you a lot broader options of jobs you can get.

3.)  I think Ungar says it very well because if you think of it liberal arts is NOT just for liberals.  It is the basis of education and i think conservatives need to get that through their minds because it would benefit everyone to have a liberal arts education.  I think that with the well roundedness of a liberal arts education that it would defiantly change the political system for the better.

5  of my own assumptions about college education

  1. you wont sleep because you will be too busy studying//I feel like this is only if you procrastinate
  2. It is nothing like highschool classes//although i agree with some parts of this, it relates more to my AP classes in highschool
  3. Exams will be like my AP exams//I think my exams so far have been easier than my AP exams
  4. You will always be partying and not get your homework done//I think that its because of the school I go to that I am not faced with this problem
  5. I will spend all of my time in the library//No i do manage to also have a social life which I am very happy for but being in the library does help me focus and get things done